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God, Thank You.

God, You make me afraid.
Tell me that I'm doing the right thing. Chosen the right thing.
Pull me if everything is not going well.
Don't make me regret my choice. I don't like that feeling.

God, I could'nt sleep more.
I'm afraid to make mistakes. Again.
Don't you go to punish me, right?
Prepare a terrible celebration.

God, give me an answer key.
Show me the way out of this intersection.
If I had to remain silent? Sculpting.
What would You do to my future?

God, what is destiny?
Why did you give me this confusion if you've decided everything.
You make me uncomfortable with this world.
You put me in the zero point.

Or, actually, I did it to myself?
Then, what are you doing now?
Watch me? Laughing at me?

God, hold me.
I felt alone. Cornered.
I feel a defendant in a very noisy hearing
This makes  me exhausted in powerlessness.

God, I'm sorry.
I'm upset.
I sincerely apologize.

Thank you for allowing me babbling.

di satu persimpangan ....

Minggu, 4 Januari 2015.

Tulisan pertama di tahun 2015. Pret.

Sepertinya baru kemarin saya membuat jadwal persiapan untuk kuliah profesi Ners. Baru kemarin saya membeli buku-buku yang akan menunjang pembelajaran klinis. Dan, baru kemarin saya semangat mencari tahu kehidupan kuliah profesi. Ya, baru kemarin, rencana-rencana itu tersusun rapi.

Hari ini semuanya buyar. Ketika saya membuka web Indonesia Mengajar dan ternyata seleksi Pengajar Muda (PM) tahap pertama sudah dibuka. http://indonesiamengajar.org/kabar-terbaru/pengumuman-hasil-seleksi-tahap-i-pengajar-muda-a-4. Dari 10.555 pendaftar, hanya 309 orang yang lolos. Dan, saya lolos seleksi tahap pertama. Bangga, iya. Bingung, iya juga. Yang membuatnya menjadi membingungkan karena seleksi tahap kedua, Direct Assesment (DA), baru dilaksanakan tanggal 20 Januari dan hasilnya kemungkinan diumumkan di akhir Maret. Sementara saya harus membayar biaya kuliah profesi akhir Januari dan mulai kuliah bulan Februari.

Kalau daftar profesi, sudah…